I Regulated My Nervous System. Your Organization Should Too.

An ownership crisis is quietly eroding professionalism across industries and leaders are tolerating it.

I’m not an angry person. I’m typically measured, regulated, and self‑aware. I do the work to manage my reactions.

And lately? I’ve been furious.

Furious enough that my normally low blood pressure has crept into unfamiliar territory and my nervous system has needed a little CPR.

Not because of one bad interaction. But because of a pattern.

Across industries, I’m watching professionalism erode — and we’re pretending it isn’t

happening.

Two Months

Two months to get an MRI appointment. Two months managing pain while navigating a system that feels impossible to penetrate.

When I arrived for my scheduled appointment, I did what most of us now do

automatically. I approached the kiosks - we’ve been robotically trained.

The screen read:

“If you are a walk‑in, please check in at the kiosk.”

I was not a walk‑in. I had a scheduled appointment and had already pre‑checked in online. So I did what logic would suggest. I approached the front desk to clarify.

What I received felt less like assistance and more like admonishment.

“Since you have a QR code, you need to scan it at the kiosk and have a seat.”

It wasn’t what was said. It was how it was said.

No eye contact. No curiosity. No “Let me help you.”

Just dismissal.

In that moment, I wasn’t a patient trying to follow unclear instructions. I was a disruption to the process, and an inconvenience to the staff. And that — small as it may seem — is where culture reveals itself.

If your systems are confusing, your people must be compassionate. When policy and reality collide, leadership shows up in how the front line responds.

That response is trained. Or it isn’t.

The Hour I Shouldn’t Have Spent

At one point, I found myself mediating a phone call between my doctor’s office and the medical authorization department.

Two professionals. Neither taking ownership.

“That’s not on our end.”

“That’s their responsibility.”

Passive aggression. Deflection. Silence.

So I facilitated. I clarified. I translated. I pushed.

An hour of my time resolving a breakdown between two paid departments.

Why are customers acting as project managers inside professional systems?

The Follow‑Up That Wouldn’t Have Happened

After my MRI, I was told:

“The injection department will contact you.”

A week passed. Nothing.

When I called, a kind woman informed me the surgeon’s note wasn’t in the system.

She reached out. Suddenly, the call came.

But here’s the uncomfortable truth:

If I hadn’t known the system was fragile…

If I hadn’t followed up…

If I had trusted the process blindly…

That consult would not have happened.

How many people fall through those cracks quietly?

The ER Moment

A few weeks earlier, I sat in an ER waiting room. People in pain. People scared.

When I approached the front desk, I was greeted with a sharp, hostile tone:

“Are you here to see a doctor?”

My first reaction was confusion. It’s an emergency room.

What should have been said was something like:

“Tell me what’s going on.”

“How can we help you today?”

“What kind of medical emergency brings you in?”

Instead, the tone felt accusatory. Dismissive.

Later, when patients asked how long the wait might be, the response escalated to:

“WE DON’T KNOW. SIT DOWN.”

Yelling. At vulnerable people.

That is not simply burnout. That is emotional dysregulation in a front‑facing role. And when leadership tolerates that culture, it becomes systemic.

This Is Bigger Than Healthcare

While my recent experiences have been in medicine and insurance, this is not isolated. This is happening everywhere.

Banking. Utilities. Airlines. Corporate customer service. Government offices. Even small businesses trying to scale.

Phone systems you cannot break. Ten department options. Voicemails with no name

attached. Portals that don’t speak to each other. Departments that deflect instead of

collaborate.

You press 1. Then 4. Then 7. Then you’re redirected. Then disconnected.

When a customer cannot reach a knowledgeable, problem‑solving, empathetic human being the system has failed.

Automation without ownership is abdication.

The Nervous System Cost

After these interactions, I could feel my nervous system spike.

Tight chest. Elevated heart rate. Anger rising.

I teach nervous system regulation. I used tapping to bring myself back down.

But here’s the question leaders should be asking:

"Should customers need emotional regulation tools just to navigate your

organization?"

Healthcare may amplify this dynamic. But the ownership crisis is broader.

And it is eroding trust everywhere.

The Moment That Restored My Faith

And then, unexpectedly, something shifted.

This weekend at Elmwood Park Zoo, I experienced the opposite of everything I had

been navigating.

Heart‑centered connection. Real eye contact. Firm handshakes. Genuine welcoming

spirits.

Not people just doing their jobs. People who seemed to truly enjoy what they were doing. There was energy. There was laughter. There was professionalism — all wrapped up in one.

It felt Disney‑level.

Not because of entertainment. Because of intentional culture.

You could feel leadership in the air. Questions were answered with care. Children were engaged with enthusiasm.

Conversations felt present — not rushed. No defensiveness. No clipped tone. No hiding behind process.

There was ownership. There was accountability. There was personal pride.

And you could feel it. The entire emotional tone of the environment was different.

Calm. Welcoming. Alive.

That experience reminded me:

This isn’t impossible.

Human‑centered culture still exists.

It requires intentional leadership, reinforced accountability, deliberate training, and core values that are clearly defined — and highly visible.

The Accountability Call

If your systems require customers to chase follow‑ups, mediate departments, and

regulate their own nervous systems just to receive service…

• You don’t have a staffing issue.

• You don’t have a technology issue.

• You have an ownership issue.

  
  

And ownership starts at the top.

Confusing instructions happen. Technology glitches happen.

But:

• Tone is trained.

• Accountability is reinforced and measured

• Culture is modeled — top down.

  
  

Leaders — if this makes you uncomfortable, it should.

Erosion doesn’t happen overnight. It happens when standards quietly lower and no one calls it out.

Consider this your call‑out.

I refuse to normalize the decline of professionalism. And I encourage other leaders to refuse it too.

Because if customers are having to regulate their nervous systems just to interact with

our organizations…we should be asking ourselves some very uncomfortable leadership questions.

MaryBeth DiNunzio is a personal life and leadership development coach specializing in

EFT/tapping, emotional intelligence, accountability, and intentional culture building.